crisis averted

Nothing can ruin my day quite like a "WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE" crisis.
My life is so hard, right?

No, but, that's the thing - when I start to freak out a little bit about The Impending Future and how confusing it is to try and figure out who you are and what you want and how to get it so that the next chapter of life is maybe a little bit better than this one, I then subsequently let my nervous panic overtake me which THEN leads me to feel incredibly selfish. This is the rough part of my life? Seriously? Oh, woe is me, so many choices. So then I feel bad about myself. But then I don't make any decisions and it's this gross vicious cycle!

Luckily today, in the middle of drafting an email requesting a letter of recommendation from some mentors and peers I stopped and took a step back to reconsider what I was working towards and how much sense it really made. I needed some help sorting out my worries and like an angel, Becky conversed with me for TWO HOURS on the phone and let me talk it all out. I can't sing her praises enough - she got me though college, was my partner in anti-genocide activism, ran away with me to Tanzania and has just seen me through some pretty awesome and pretty terrible times. She's a genius with a modest demeanor and gentle soul. She knows how to talk me off the ledge, which she did today.

This is Becky and I in a photo project KEW did our sophomore year of college.

In the midst of all this angst and self-loathing I skipped a conference I was supposed to go to today which was silly and irresponsible. I've been seeing on Twitter and Gmail that I missed a pretty awesome day, bummer. They're having another day tomorrow, so I'm going to try and get my ass out of bed for that in the morning. The one good thing that did come out of not going was that I was able to spend my evening with my new friend Lindsey. She also went to IU and we had some similar friends and went to some of the same parties but we never hung out until January. Tonight we cooked our second meal together from this AMAZING vegan cookbook she found at the library. The meals are very involved and time-consuming but we just spend that time getting to know each other and having some good laughs. And we are definitely 2 for 2 on the BALLIN' food - the hard work really pays off. It was seriously the best thing I could have done after having this really gross day that involved me thinking primarily negative thoughts because it's impossible to not have a good time with Lindsey.

Bottom line: I don't know what life after AC is going to look like but I do know that I'm going to have some quality folks around each step of the way. What more could a girl ask for? Amen.