Bad week, better weekend

I had a really frustrating week at my placement. My main issue is that I am not treated like a member of the team - more like an outsider who can do gopher odd jobs. When I raised the issue with my boss (who is also supposed to serve as a mentor!) she didn't listen to what I was saying and told me that if I was overwhelmed she could take something from me. I was trying to say that I felt precisely the opposite. Since it takes a lot for me to yell at someone, especially a superior, I instead just started crying when I was angry, which frustrated me even more. It sucked. The next day, after one of the most unproductive staff meetings I have *ever* attended, I got into a verbal tiff with a nurse who made some outrageous claims about our patients and "the poor" in general (basically, they are leeches, they will always be leeches and I don't know anything because I haven't been in this community long enough to know any better.)

There are a few good things that happened this week at work. We are doing a "biggest loser" competition (individual loss and team loss) and my team is kicking butt and I kind of am too. Also, witnessing my being upset and actually listening to what I said in our staff meeting about what my role is, a few women I work with gave me some encouraging words. One of them is the community outreach coordinator, who also proposed an option for a long-term project with her.

I'm not giving up on this place yet, but I can't say that I'm feeling good about it or that I'm looking forward to going in tomorrow morning (or any day, ever.) Blah!

ALL THAT SAID, I do feel like I'm building a pretty solid, supportive and fun community outside of that placement. I hung out with a lot of new people on both Thursday and Friday and yesterday my housemates and I had people over for a mostly-vegan potluck that was a huge success. Highlights included mashed sweet potatoes with coconut milk, my cornbread casserole that I am close to perfecting, spinach lasagna, chili, mashed parsley potatoes, kale, mixed veggie pasta, varieties of hummus, and more. YUM! Some of my AC friends came as well as an acquaintance from IU and some of my housemates buddies too. To me, there's just not a lot that beats friends coming together over homemade food. Amen.